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Apprehension and Anxiety – Double “A” Killers
Have you ever been worried about a meeting coming up – that you need to attend – and you are apprehensive about going? Your anxiety is building to impossible levels to be able to deal with it… because you know who will be there.
Maybe it was a school reunion? Maybe it was wedding? Maybe it was a doctor’s appointment? Whatever it was is, inside you are dying a
thousand deaths with the thoughts that cripple your movements and actions of
the day.
Let’s try this simple
exercise. Think back to the last three
times that you suffered that great anxiety attack. Think of the time when you felt the great
apprehension and almost decided to not go… or maybe you did decide to not go at
all.
Now add to that one or two
that you are carrying for today.
Did your blood pressure
jump at all? Did you start feeling ill
at ease in any way? Do you wish that I
would have never brought up this topic?
The Double “A” Killer is
there in a real way. Anyone that has thought of this will recognize the strong
feelings that we experience when this happens.
And we will do almost anything to avoid it from taking a toll on our
life or person that time.
For the fun of it I counted
the number of time that I felt these strong feelings of the Double “A”s – just one
day. That was yesterday.
My name is up for an
election to a rather important position - tomorrow. People have nominated me to
this really important possible position.
That is a Double “A” Moment. The election takes place tomorrow. And each hour the Double “A” is increasing.
This one is BIG. I am not sure that it
is Number 1 or if it is likely turned into about 500 now – as I wait.
I am required to stand up
in front of the Electing Body tomorrow and give a speech about why I think they
should elect me. I need to tell them
about what a wonderful person I have become.
That is likely Number 2 – repeated over about 700 times!
The Double “A” continues in
this area… when the thought came bouncing by to make it worse… “No one will
believe what you will say… you don’t even believe what you will say!!” Number 3 – repeated about 800 times this
week.
500 plus 700 plus 800 are
adding up to be over 2000 thoughts that have driven me crazy so far this last
two weeks. I am not sure that I really want to do this… YET I KNOW that I would
be good at it and will be a good leader. Oh boy.
Last week on Friday I had
to stop taking any anti histamine for my allergies while I get ready for an Allergy
Test this afternoon. I am nearly
crawling with my nose and throat itching. I am sneezing my head off.
Number 4 Double “A” came
again this morning – will the tests that they give me today cause me to break
out in a severe case of hives – right there in the Doctor’s Office? Worse yet
will it possibly hospitalize me with some sort of violent reaction?
Oh Boy – Number 4 has about
four sub levels of worry in it… and I have worried even more about this one.
Oh. Oh. Here comes Number
5. I will be swelled up like a balloon when I have to stand up tomorrow and say
my words… or worse yet I will be on a breathing machine at the Hospital… gasping
for air. Number 6, 7 and 8 just arrived.
Last night I took our “grand
dog” for the evening walk before bed time.
Sheesh! He shot across the sidewalk
towards a bush, his hair on his shoulders stood up… and he froze. The Double “A” thing went nuts. Skunk in the BUSH? Raccoon in the BUSH? Something was in that BUSH and he was about
to take it down. Bang. Wham. Jerk. I
grabbed the leash and held it tightly so he couldn’t go into the BUSH.
My heart was racing and I
was ready to kill the dog. But he couldn’t go into the BUSH with the leash
pulling him out – backwards.
This “grand dog” sitting is
going to be over in a day or so… that Double “A” will go away.
Thank God that the possible
Skunk had not sprayed us… or today in the Doctor’s Office would have not been
so good. They told me not to come with any Aftershave Lotion or heavily scented
stuff on. Skunk Spray would have killed this appointment and the election – let
alone to the speech!
I can’t give you any more –
there is just too much to write down.
From my guess I am at the 4000 level of Double “A” problems today.
I have a Friend that sends
me a Text Message every day that simply says – “Have a great day.” When I turn on my Cell Phone the familiar Bing
Bong will tell me his message is in.
He lost all his things in
the recent fire at a housing complex in our city. His wife told me the move next
week from the Hotel they have been staying in to the Town House unit will not be
that hard – they have little to move.
I spoke with the Bride
before last week’s wedding. She said she could understand why some people back out
of the wedding at the last minute.
She also told me that the
place they were ready to move into after the wedding was now gone. They have
lost their apartment. They have five kids and no money and don’t know what to
do.
As she said “I will” and “I
do” she had to be experiencing Double “A” about a million times over… yet she
went through with it.
As I have thought of her
and what she faces today… my Double “A” disappeared - poof it was all gone.
Maybe your own Double “A” problem
is now getting better after you have read of my life issues – and her huge
problem they now face.
Thank you God for Today.
You said you would be with me and I sure hope you haven’t forgot that promise.
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/
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