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Stress,
Pressure and staying alive through it
I think the
reasons for the swirling thoughts of the last few days and the feeling of some
stress… again… is the people I met with.
On Thursday
I was with some ministers at a daylong seminar.
Then just after the seminar I was invited to attend two more upcoming
seminars in the next few months. It was
the remembered pressure and stress of long ago that set it all off again – I am
sure of that.
I used to be
under pressure almost all the time. The
busy schedule of a minister and the multitude of problems that begged attention
swirled around me all the time.
I found a
posting on a Web Page from another pastor by the name of Greg Baker… who stated
– quote..
“I pastor a Church. As such,
there is pressure on me from many different directions. I have to worry about
things that no one else in the Church does. If something goes wrong, I get the
call. If something bad happens, I get blamed. That's part of the pressure. This
pressure causes stress. Sometimes that stress is evident in relationships, in
mounting frustration or exasperation, and can play havoc with my health.
Wherever I am the weakest, the stress appears.” End quote.
Whoa! Just reading this made
me shake a little. The same old feelings of the weight and the downward
pressure on my life returned in a heartbeat!
“Wherever I am the weakest, the
stress appears.” he stated.
Greg used an illustration of a Plastic Water Bottle. With the bottle empty push down steadily on
the top until it starts to collapse. The crackle of the plastic will begin at
the weak points and then it will begin to fold up until the bottle is flat.
If you look closely you will see that the bottle is very thin at the
places it bends and folds first.
Eventually the bottle will break at those week area.
One thing for sure happens. The
bottle will not likely hold water very well any longer.
If the bottle is straightened up again and then more pressure is applied
it will collapse much more quickly the next time… and after the second time of
crushing it will not likely be able to hold water at all. The holes will appear
all over the plastic.
Thankfully we are not made of plastic but we are vulnerable.
We can fortify the areas of our weakness by rest, by removing ourselves
from the problem areas or pressure points or we can quit – get completely away.
Retirement does that for sure. It offers the “quit” and “get completely
away from it” part very well.
But if you are still in it – you MUST FIND ANOTHER WAY to get help.
Greg Baker offers the following… quote..
“A person can handle pressure if they can do three things:
1. Have a reason and cause for being under the pressure
2. Finding a way to bleed off and relieve stress
3. Strengthen their weak areas
2. Finding a way to bleed off and relieve stress
3. Strengthen their weak areas
Nervous breakdowns result from someone who either can't relieve stress,
or who can't find a cause or reason to be under the pressure. The stress builds
up where they are weakest and then destroys them. Someone who can't handle the
stresses in life will eventually try to run. Someone who can't handle the
pressures in life can suddenly snap.” End quote.
I have had a number of “Minister Friends” in recent years “snap”. They are now out of the ministry because they
had a “Moral Failure”. That is church lingo describing the fact that they did
something that is morally reprehensible to the church members. It may have been
sex, money, theft, anger, hatred… but sex and money are the two highest on our “church
list”. (The other three are more acceptable in that more church people do them
more often.)
Church people can have problems with “sex” or with “theft” but the
minister doesn’t dare. Kind of ridiculous when you think about it – really!
But that is an added pressure keeping the man or woman under stress… and
eventually something will break… at the weakest point.
In humans it isn’t plastic parts that break… it is rather our hearts or
some circulatory part where the pressure and then the stress breaks open or
out. Heart, Stroke and failing health are good starting points.
One of my minister friends has a huge problem. His wife was so sick that
they had to quit the ministry. It seemed
that everything in her body went wrong at the same time. They were facing one
major sickness after another until she was completely bedridden.
Why? Where was God in all of
this?
Well there was an answer for sure and God was always there. The lady(pastor’s
wife) and the man(pastor) in this situation both were trying to make everything
better for everyone around them. They
were playing “God” for everyone in their own human way. Whatever was wrong here they were expected to
fix it… after all that is what God is for when I have trouble… and I don’t want
trouble.
Then she being the weaker of the two – broke. He broke later.
The Doctor called it the “Evangelical Syndrome” where the Evangelical Minister
and Wife are known as the “fixer-uppers”. A simple prayer and a quick scripture
fixes almost everything. And when it
doesn’t help – do it again and again… and pray harder and harder… until your
own health breaks completely.
The problem is still there and the people are the same lame people that
they were when they came to the minister with their problems and expected him
to fix them.
I have had that ministerial trip for a long time in my own life. More people were left unfixed than the ones
that were fixed. I had great prayers and exercised great spiritual powers… that
made pressure and stress have to back off… until the amount that came my way
finally made me collapse.
A large two litre Coca Cola Bottle will stand more pressure on it than
the thin little water bottle did. But it
will eventually break as well… crumpling into a flattened plastic glob.
No? Try running over it with a truck’s tire!!!
Some situations are “Truck Tire Size” with the pressure that is applied!
One of my friends was just removed from his church with accusations of “Moral
Problems”. He was caught going to XXX
places in his free time. I think he claimed that it was a ministry opportunity
or something – kind of a missionary trip. Oh Boy!
The church has just incurred a huge debt with the construction project
they completed… I mean Millions and Millions of dollars of debt. And the pressure of that plus the pressure of
the people that are now coming made his “bottle” fold up under the pressure… and
he broke at the weakest place.
He and his wife are doing okay today. They are getting their lives back
together and love each other even more than before.
Some people question her – why she decided to stay after what he did.
But removing him from the pressure and the stress has made a new man of
this minister.
If he can stay away from the pressure and the stress produced by what
happened around him… they will be okay.
If he doesn’t – well….
How do I understand this all?
Well I have lived it all. I have been under pressure that few would ever
know. The Northview church carried over $1,350,000 debt for 18 years without
paying anything on the Mortgage Principle.
Then we began in 1998 to pay it down.
Unhappy people started doing their things and leaving the church
angrily.
When you have church debt and people leaving the church – it is not a
formula for success! I knew pressure like no one can imagine… and the stress
started to produce its toll on me.
I am not about to tell you all my weak points where I crackle and pop
and break.
But I do think about the church that my friend was the minister of… the
debt is very much there and it is HUGE!!!!
Who will the person be that comes in to deal with the debt and pay it
down? What pressure will they know and what
stress will cause what part to break?
Unless the new minister coming is Superman – the man of steel… he will
feel it all.
Oh boy…
Watching and listening to the young guys this past week… I can see the effects
of the pressure they are under… but I don’t think that they can see it at all!
Double Oh Boy!! But I can look
after me… and they must look after themselves.
And the Elders and Board of Directors of these major places (or little
ones as well) are responsible in major ways!!!
~ Murray Lincoln ~
Resources:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/dealing_with_the_pressures_and_stresses_of_life
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