Tuesday, March 29, 2011

So are You a Retrosexual? Or are You married to One?

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Today’s Blog Post
So are You a Retrosexual? Or are You married to One?
I would so love to write about the Canadian Electioneering going right now. What a zoo! Yep a ZOO. The Tigers are roaring in their cages, Lions are snorting and then bellowing over in their cage and the small monkeys are going nuts to get your attention! That is my view of Liberals, Conservatives and The NDP this AM.


Nope can’t let myself go that way… today anyway.

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Have you heard of “Retrosexual” yet? Or should I ask it this way… are you a “retrosexual”?

I mean you heard of heterosexual haven’t you? And you have heard of homosexual – right? Maybe even you have figured out what a bisexual is all about…. Right?

But Retrosexual… yikes?!

I dare say that at my 67th year I am a little strange to even delve into this descriptive mode using these words… with my friends being who they are. You know the Baby Boomer types that have let their kids exhaust their personal savings to help them through University and College now. With the hopes that the kids will be well positioned enough to support you when the pension runs out… and will above all choose the best seniors homes for them.

And to be a minister – I should be all preachy and stuff right now. You know what I mean.

My friends are not that up on stuff. Using any of my descriptive words around them causes some to scowl… actually maybe it is just to confuse – you know… or do some confusificating.

Of course after I heard the term Retrosexual as it referred to men – I just had to know more. What the heck was the weirdo on TV talking about?

So here is what I found… in the Urban Dictionary…
Quote…
Person One suggests…
Who says it has to be the opposite of metrosexual? A retrosexual is (in the female case) that woman who eschews the sexual-revolution plank of feminism in favor of more-traditional values. Perhaps even 1950s values (this is not to say she goes as far as the cone-bra). A little burlesque, a little Betty Crocker, the retrosexual woman has new-fangled spunk and old-fashioned values: she does for abstinence and monogamy what Slang Flashcards do for Dover illustrations. She may be, well, Sexless in the City, but only 'cause she chooses to be.

Person Two suggests…
A retrosexual is the opposite of a metrosexual. He is a man who spends as little time and money as possible on his appearance.

The "hip" version; The opposite of metrosexual. Basically, any typical male who doesn’t have a hissy fit over their own image like a shallow twat.

Person Three suggests…
2. The real version; Anyone who has got a liking and embraces classic pop culture. This can be a various formats of like from sixties television to eighties music, there is no need to limit yourself to one decade just as long you don't really feel excited with today's current trends. (Which basically is starting to whore out the eighties at the moment anyway.) Also referred to as having a "retrocrush".

You ask – How can that be a definition? Or something called a Dictionary????

Well that is just it… the culture around me is evolving… changing… growing… expanding and alive.

Most of my friends are pretty much stuck in one rut. Comfortable with the way they are. They don’t groove any more – because they pretty much rut out in the same old, same old.

Ask their wives if that is not true. Oops maybe you should ask their husband.
Now up to this point in my explanation you have been thinking “YOUNG”. Nope – don’t think young… think your age… any age… retrosexual fits all sizes and ages.

Most of the retired men that I know are likely retrosexual. Sorry Winston and Terry... you guys are likely Grade ‘A’ Retrosexual! You know – like Grade Eggs – the biggest and the best.

I have been back at Home Depot again lately roaming the aisles and selecting stuff for our basement reno.

Talk about Retrosexual dudes walking the aisles – that place is full of old guys that could give a ding dong about how they dress… what they look like and how sees them!!!

They don’t dwell on sex all the time… and a bouncy babe walking by… is just some one that can help you find the proper tool to do that weird task at home. When she smiles and asks if she can help you… you thank her deeply and show her the part that you are looking for. Like as not she will explain that her dad or grandpa was doing a job like this last week too.

WOW! How times have changed! I mean your time has changed.

I am retrosexual. There I said it. I am “Basically, that typical male who doesn't have a hissy fit over their own image like a shallow twat.”

I am someone “who has got a liking and embraces classic pop culture. This can be a various formats of like from sixties television to eighties music, there is no need to limit yourself to one decade just as long you don't really feel excited with today's current trends.”

I am me. I could care less what you think – really. Sorry… yes… yes… your feelings are hurt with me saying such a callous thing… but Princess – you need to suck it up and get on with life.

I heard a beautiful retrosexual kind of statement that fits so well… in so many situations…

Here it is… “Why don’t you pull your lip up over your face and swallow real hard?”

Now coming from my Ministerial background, you know always caring, the fatherly type – always ready to help and be there for my kids… I am evolving and transforming… and dressing like a bum… more and more.

But hey… I am retrosexual and starting to love it.

Now that is a leap from Canadian Electioneering… Tigers and Lions and Monkeys.

But one big question is, “How will they get my vote… or get me to vote?” Have you noticed there are no Retrosexual Guys in flannel shirts standing on the platform with the tigers or lions or monkeys?

I gotta get to Home Depot again today. I love that place. These are my kind of people shopping there during the week.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/  

Resource
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?defid=873143&term=retrosexual

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