“Every man will be promoted to his level of incompetence!”

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Today’s Blog Post


“Every man will be promoted to his level of incompetence!”

The old terror returned. I shook from head to toe as I awoke early this morning. I was wet with perspiration. It has been over two years since I have experienced the ‘joy’ of the terror. Hokey Mokey!

Yes it is a ‘joy’ and it is a terror.

In fact it wasn’t just over two years I experienced the Terror the first time… the Terror came somewhere in 1974, as I stood in the small Walkerton Pentecostal Church as the newbie minister. Green as green could be, wet behind the ears and not understanding what the heck I was doing as a new minister. That was 36 years ago! Yikes… and it is still happening again and again!

How can this Terror still linger? Why can’t I feel a freedom and a cool dude experience, and easy rider attitude, the totally in charge of it all persona… like other guys and gals do in their ministry?

Let me explain first what the Terror comes from.

It happened this past Sunday in Port Perry. I was about to conduct the morning service and part of that Service included the “Holy Communion”. I had been asked by Rev. Caleb Kim, the Interim Moderator, if I was willing to do this. I had assured him that I was very willing to help as I could.

I mean – I have conducted “Holy Communion” for at least 36 years and have done this all over the world – in dozens of different cultural settings!!!!

(Pause here… just in case you are reading this in Saudi Arabia – or Africa – or some other place that has no idea what “Holy Communion” is about  – I offer this explanation.)

In the Christian Church we have one common thing that kind of unites us in our practice of worship of God. And we are of a great variety in our styles and practices of worship. That one common thing is the formality/element of worship entitled Communion… where we take a small portion of bread and juice/wine and remember the death of Jesus – his last days and his last moments. The bread is representative of his body and the wine is representative of his shed blood – which happened for our sins.

Yikes – I just realized that I need quite a few more paragraphs to tell people exactly why we do this in church.

Communion is conducted in many different ways... in other words we each do it a little different. We have different pageantries and pomp as we conduct this solemn part of Christian worship.

(Pause again for all Christians… Jesus, our model in all of this, simply did it at his last supper with his friends before he was arrested. It was pretty natural, fitting into the routine of the way they conducted their evening meal. That bit was for the Christians that read this – not the non Christians. Ahem)

I hope that is enough background… now back to the Terror.

As I walked into the sanctuary I saw the problem immediately. The Communion Table was covered with a large white cloth. The cloth had things under it that didn’t look like the normal Communion Table I was used to. I didn’t dare look under the cloth… as people were already sitting in the pews watching me.

In the Presbyterian church they have usually offered a Bulletin with all the instructions and words offered as to what to say and do… I looked and all that was listed was “The Sacrament of Holy Communion”. Oh Boy!

What is under the cloth? How do I ask someone what I should be doing? What is about to happen in Holy Communion? Is their tradition similar to the last one that I experienced – or do they have a whole new set of rules? The bulges under the cloth suggested that there was something very different about to happen… oh boy again!!

The Terror rose up again and my mouth went dry… just like the old days! Sheesh!

I met with one of the Elders in the Minister’s Office… and carefully asked him about the service. The kind man offered words to clarify what my questioning was revealing. He used words that I had not heard before. Yikes! I am getting more frightened by the minute. Maybe my fear had deafened me too!

Then the second man, another elder, came in after the first left and I tested my questions on him asking if it would be alright to do things a little differently from the norm because of the Sermon I had prepared… His reaction made the small Terror jump into high gear and now I was down right scared silly. His pronouncement that, “Some of the congregation may not like doing it that way!” made me shake and then he walked out of the Office.

My mouth dried up completely and I was quickly losing my will to walk into a potentially hostile crowd of Presbyterian Saints that were looking earnestly to me for the right of their Holy Communion!... and what I was about to do, had no reference points in their understanding or tradition!

I am way up the “religious” creek without a paddle or any kind – at this point!

As we progressed to the moment indicated in the Church Bulletin when I would be serving Holy Communion… I was shaking. I missed the Lord’s Prayer following the Offering… I went too long on my short sermon and was generally a wreck!

The Communion Table was still covered. Two of the elders walked up to the table and lifted the cloth with great pomp. Holy Mackerel!! – not Holy communion… this was a whole lot different than I had ever seen before. There on the table were whole loaves of bread… some cut and others not… The one that was not cut was sitting beside a gigantic silver pitcher that apparently was used to pour into the silver chalice beside it. Beside all of these pieces were four communion trays with small cups that the folk in the congregation would be served along with small loaves that had been cut.

In a split second my sensors had quickly done the rough estimates on what should happen when I stepped forward.

I shared with the folk that I would be doing the service somewhat differently today… serving every one first and then we would take part together. Oh Boy… the rising water of fear was coming steadily and I was about to drown!

After the congregation had been served, I served the elders with the trays of bread… then with the small cups of wine… then proceeded to take the elements myself. I never touched the large silver pitcher, or the silver chalice… or the small loaf of bread.

One of the elders that had told me people may not like any changes, stepped forward and did some work with the table then walked out – two more covered the remaining communion elements and left the rest to me…

I was ready to die by that stage. I had left out important parts, destroyed any semblance of righteousness that I had feigned to that point… and simply lost it all in Terror. The dude who left early usually shaking my hand at the end of the service… didn’t show up at the end.

I can honestly testify to the fact that I know… the best Peter Principle that I must live by – and usually do – is more than true on this past Sunday… “Every man will be promoted to his level of incompetence!”

On Sunday, October 3, 2010, at St. John’s Presbyterian Church in Port Perry, Ontario, Canada at about 10:50 AM I found my level of incompetence.

My embarrassment and fear and terror and down right stupidity all showed up at the same moment in time.

The “Presbyterianization” of this Pentecostal failed terribly.

So… forgiveness is sought… from the wonderful people of St. John’s Presbyterian Church. We love you – but missed some elements of your worship that must have been important to you or you wouldn't be doing them…

The one big thing that happened is… I discovered GRACE of the Presbyterians… some actually shook my hand and encouraged me. They told me how wonderful the service was and what it had meant to them… in such a special way.

God bless these dear folk… And thank you for forgiving me!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/