Whatever - You can’t fool me! Part Two – by Murray Lincoln

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Today’s Blog Post

Whatever - You can’t fool me! Part Two – by Murray Lincoln
Bruce Lindsay’s posting, yesterday, has brought some interesting dialogue. The forum where this dialogue has taken place is “Facebook”. But not all readers and participants in this dialogue are on “Facebook”.

I am going to begin this post with some of my reflection that I have just offered my friends on Facebook. More input into the dialogue.

On Facebook I posted the following….quoting myself…
“As a Youth Pastor for a long time I have seen it all take place. There has been early awareness (to the opposite sex), excessive awareness, mild awareness, and no awareness in kids that I have worked with and families I have worked alongside of. I think that the awareness generally has shifted in the Canadian Society to younger and younger times when the child has heightened awareness/more intense awareness. That is speaking very generally. At the same time the scale from one extreme to the other has stretched out to make a greater contrast because younger has become a new norm - with the older awareness still being the same.

Now add to these factors the difference of Healthy Awareness and Unhealthy Awareness. Some of each is affected by the family context. For example both parents being there and aware with input - to the opposite - only one parent or no parents with no input.

The second set has often led to the huge excesses and dabbling in the horror of twisted sexuality...porn (guys)...acting out other's sexuality - i.e. movie stars and modeling at very young ages(girls)

Family Focus is an important factor as well. Take a child and put them into music excessively - until they become a maestro at 10 - there is little time for anything else. Sports can do the same. So can perfection in study.

Take away Family Focus and let other stuff - say TV and Media - become the Focus - and things will change. When Miley Montana has more influence than Mom - there is a Problem.

Or place a Family Leader there or not there - i.e. Dad or no Dad... Mom or no Mom.. and things change quickly. It is at that time the Scout Leader, Youth Minister, Big Brothers, Big Sisters fill in that Gaps - and may become successful.

I am sure that there are No Rules now. There are shifting guidelines that are written in the sand and daily waves of the present life change them all the time...making what was a norm in the past pretty much impossible to remember.

In which case Grandparents are always knowing best... or better... but can't remember what it was like to be 11 years old.”
Ending my own quote…

I add the following to this train of thought.

As I reflect further I think family is a lot like a Beehive or an Ant Colony. Ideally every one in the Beehive or Colony has a part. From the youngest to the oldest member – each has a part to play. If everyone in that setting does their part all will be maintained. There is a balance that is sought after to make the Hive or Colony(H or C) stable.

But outside factors can upset or change that balance. It can be too hot, too dry, too cold, too wet for starters. Each time a new factor enters it upsets the balance and the participants must do their part to maintain.

There is a leader at any given moment in the H or C. Take away the leader and there is no longer an H or C.

Take away the drive by each member to participate for the good of the whole… and the H or C will also deteriorate.

I can keep going as I draw thoughts of the H or C – so can you.

Today’s family is deeply affected by a changing demand on its leadership. The resources and sources financially needed to maintain a family is much greater today than it was from say Four Generations ago. The shift has been huge. The income needed today is always greater and time to produce that income is never enough. When it is enough it will always require more time to keep it that way.

Everything is more immediate. We must have it NOW. And NOW then insists that excesses be entered taxing the leadership way beyond their ability to build the H or C at the normal speed.

Four Generations ago the leadership/parent was always there… never had to work off the “farm”, home every night and generally in their children’s life. They also understood that it took a certain amount of work to produce an income and that would take time – which they waited on. Grain would only grow at one speed… as did the animals. They adjusted their family speed to match the rhythm of the setting they lived in.

Today we adjust consumption rate of the family to match an Inner Need – rather than an Outward Reality. We need the grain and the animal to grow faster, better, and bigger – when we want it and when we need it.

But the Outward Reality doesn’t dictate the Inner Need which flip flops as a Inner Reality.

We must have Strawberries every month of the year, faster and faster internet with more and more access to virtual world – NOW. And it must be in High Definition when I click my fingers or tap my small keyboard.

Having it NOW means that Inner Need and Inner Reality mesh and become a New Norm.

Having to wait three months for a letter to answer your question of two months ago is unfathomable to the immediacy of my beeping Blackberry. Paying more than $500 for Blackberry is so much easier than less than a few cents for a stamp on a letter – when you need it now!

Having to wait 11 months for another crop of Strawberries is insane. 11 months from now they would be free. Having it NOW costs a little more.

Talk about confusing!

Add Children and Teenagers to that mix as they struggle to find out who they are… and WOW! Whoever comes up with an answer will be a Gazillionaire!

When kids are raised in an immediate world that is surrounded by constant demand with immediate needs being answered NOW – with no allowance for any growth time… it can be more than a little confusing.

Now add the sexual awareness, or awareness of the opposite sex to the child’s life… and it will always be different. There is nothing normal about it.

But at the same time the child is being affected by the stressed out world… so are their parents and grandparents.

The “Little Blue Pill” that we all joke about now is desperately needed by adult men to get their sexuality back again. In their confusing/confused world – they need a chemical stimulant to make a norm happen.

Then we look at Teenagers and think something has changed – not having a clue of what to do about it.

When my 11 year old grandchild turns from the TV Hockey game we are watching and asks me, “Grandpa, what is Viagra?” – I know things are changing.

But if you just get to a good church, get involved, listen to the preacher… that will be the answer! HA – that is funny. They don’t talk about Sex or Viagra in church! You can’t fool me!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/